Week of: 
Nov 11-15  |  Nov 18-22  |  Dec 16-20  |  Jan 2 - Jan 10 | Jan 13-17  |  Jan 20-24  |  Jan 27-31Feb 3-7  |  Feb 10-14Feb 17-21Feb 24-28

We're still in 1897 - where you most of you will recall Barnabas is SUPPOSED to be looking in the past for the reasons why Quentin's spirit in the present (1967) is being so troublesome and taking over David, the overacting 13 year old. Also, I found a site with a quick primer on the plot to help you catch up if you want


Monday Nov 11: I'm not sure which nimrod at Sci-Fi decided that Veterans Day is the perfect time to run a Star Trek Marathon but surely they will be punished in another life.

Tuesday Nov 12: Body, body, who's got the body?

VOICE OVER: In the great drawing room at Collinwood (the Foyer being too high a traffic area for so solemn a use), a man lies dead, cut down in mindless fury (and split ends) by the woman he wronged. (Well, who in the family DIDN'T wrong poor Jenny? Edward had her locked up; Judith had the babies sent away. Welcome to the family, Jen) Quentin Collins is in his coffin, mourned by his sister Judith and his brother, Carl. But even in death, there is no peace for Quentin Collins.

Carl watches Judith on the phone leaving a message with someone to have Edward phone as soon as possible (so it seems Edward frolicked off to Bangor before Jenny got out and made Quentin-ka-bobs.) Carl, taking advantage of his brother's deceased state, starts to give Quentin a piece of his mind but the swagger is cut short when Carl shrieks like Eliza on the ice and insists that the body moved. I'm not sure he really moved or whether it was a draft but through this whole scene, I was distracted by the way the candles were blowing to and fro. I really thought someone or something would catch on fire any second. Someone left the door open on the set.

Judith scoffs and in a feeble attempt to scoff back, Carl calls Judith a liar. Ooooooh, Carl. You are SUCH a bad ass. Carl insists that Judith that lying to the police about it being a transient Quentin tried to cheat at cards was understandable but she shouldn't lie to him - her baby and most beloved brother. This whole speech gets louder and more shrill with ever passing syllable and peaks with his accusation that Judith and/or Edward killed Quentin or paid someone to do so. Judith is shocked - whether at the accusation or the fact that Carl had the cojones to make it, I am not sure.

Rachel's eyes in close-up. You know, I think she may have a glaucoma problem. She ought to get that checked out. Anyhow, the camera pulls back and we see that she's sitting on her bed. Jamison (sans knocking - does no one in this place have any manners?) and asks if she's seen his trains. The bad news is written ALL over her face. Jamison first asks if it's Nora, then his father, then Quentin. "He's dead," Rachel says. "I know how close you were, . . . " He walks away from her. She asks where he's going, but he doesn't respond. How on EARTH can Jamison not know about his already? I mean - Quentin is practically lying in state in the drawing room for almost 36 hours. This kid is all over the house at all hours and routinely gets into EVERYONE'S business and is abnormally attached to Uncle Quenny. Suddenly, he's outta the loop for a day and a half? Right. I find that harder to believe than the wandering vampire, the she-demon blonde from Hell and the gloves. 

Meanwhile back in the drawing room, Quentin is still book ended by his loving siblings. Carl is laughing about how absurd it was to think he saw Quentin moved. Judith is glad to hear this admission and they then discuss how good-looking Quentin always was (and let me just add that even lying in his coffin, Quentin's still better looking than these two) and how that is why he was everyone's favorite when they were children. Jamison enters, staring at the coffin. "Your Uncle Quentin is dead", says Judith. Way to break it gently, Judith. Jamison sobs, "I know he's NOT dead-he's NOT! I know he's not dead." The boy runs out.

We then see Jamison sits in Quentin's chair in his room, listening to his uncle's music (which I have recently learned was called Quentin's Theme and actually made it to the top 40 back in the day). Jamison (who is far far too young for the comb-over they have subjected him to) seems to feel that is he plays it over and over Quentin will hear it and come back. I think maybe going AWAY to school would have done WONDERS for young Jamison. Or a good correspondence course in logic. But wait! As Quentin lies in his coffin, we see the gramophone superimposed on his face and we hear Jamison's voice begging, "Don't leave me!" The music continues and Quentin's eyes flutter (well, I saw them flutter. I don't know that they were supposed to). The coffin closes (awkwardly) by itself. This is particularly strange since up to this point I didn't see a top on the coffin at all. I mean, Judith and Carl were always standing RIGHT next to it with no space where a coffin lid might have been. But there it is suddenly - hinges shining as if it had been there ALL ALONG! Switch back to Jamison. He's peeved that he's gotten no response and petulantly stops the music. Then he hears Quentin's voice "We must always be as one." Jamison is thrilled. I can't be the only one wondering about this relationship, right? I mean, the "bad uncle" cliché exists for a reason, doesn't it?

Carl strolls through the Foyer (which is as spic and span as ever) into the drawing room (which is getting quite a work out in this episode). As Rachel and Judith descend the stairs, Judith declares that Nora will be especially frightened and Rachel promises to spend as much time as she can with the girl. Nice of her - considering it's her job and all. Carl comes skittering across the hall, gesturing wildly and crying that someone has closed the coffin! When he was there earlier it was UP (I still say 'missing'), now it's DOWN! Carl shrieks some more, making it clear that Judith is the only real man in the family now that Quentin is gone. Carl runs upstairs saying he'll get to the bottom of this. Rachel then says that she's worried about Jamison. It seems that he's behaving unnaturally in light of his grief. Um - so far he seems pretty normal to me but perhaps rushing out of the room in tears after being suddenly told that your favorite relative has died and having it brutally confirmed by your lush of a power hungry aunt means doing the 'happy me dance' in Collinwood. Judith doesn't suggest QUITE dancing but she suggests a picnic if it wouldn't be unseemly. 

Carl goes to Quentin's room and gets in Jamison's face about how hideous Quentin was. He says Jamison knows more about it than he's saying so he had better shut off the music and start talking! Jamison gazes at him, not speaking but he doesn't shut the music off either so Carl turns it off himself. He shouts that Jamison, "I'm your uncle, and you must listen to me!" Jamison says, "No, Carl, you're my brother! Grandfather always said that I'd be killed by a woman - that woman is still in this house!" Hearing this drives Carl out of the room to find Judith. When she arrives, Jamison calls Judith "dear sister Judith," and Carl whispers that Quentin would never die quietly. Jamison repeats to them everything they'd said earlier in the drawing room and they both pull back in horror. "The child is possessed!" says Judith, (in my family it's called "acting out"). Jamison cracks himself up and Carl, having perfected the art of running away, gives us another dazzling display.

Rachel dreams (See the the wavy lines?) It's a stupid dream that communicates to the audience that Jamison is possessed. What it communicates to Rachel, I haven't a clue. Probably that spicy food doesn't agree with her. Missing all the Freudian imagery, Rachel awakens, sits up in bed, and hears a creaking sound. Quentin, eyes wide open, is in a rocker by her bed. Rachel flees the room, screaming. She meets Judith and Carl in the hall and tells them what she saw. Judith insists Rachel was dreaming and wants to send Carl in there to prove Rachel is still dreaming. Carl is not so keen on the idea. "You're the man of the house," Judith points out (as we laugh merrily, she adds exactly what we're all thinking) "at least for now." So Carl reluctantly goes to do his manly duty. He opens the door but the rocker is empty. He returns and tells them Quentin isn't there. Judith leads Rachel away to show her Quentin still rests in his coffin. Carl double checks that rocker one more time, and it's still empty.

Carl, Rachel and Judith find Quentin's coffin empty (just as Judith is warning Rachel how "catching" hysteria tends to be). Judith faints, and Rachel and Carl help her to the sofa. Rachel repeats that she DID see Quentin in her rocker-but Carl didn't. After all, he looked into the room, saw the empty rocker, but didn't search the room. Judith insists he do that, and though he's very frightened (and his lips are practically quivering off his face as he attempts not to cry like a baby), he goes. Someone knocks. Judith tells Rachel to go--but find out who's there before you answer the door. (Way to delegate, Judith). 

Upstairs, Carl slowly returns to Rachel's room and makes a half-hearted search. As he turns, he sees a shadow go past the door and once again - you got it - screams. At this point, I am shocked that Carl can even still speak. He actually is hoarse so he was probably screaming through rehearsals as well. 

Turns out that it was Barnabas at the door because he's now telling Judith he wishes he could have come sooner. Judith says everything that happened is bewildering-how did the body get out of Rachel's room? Barnabas knows of a secret panel there. Judith wonders how-to the best of her knowledge, he's never been in Rachel's room (a pointed look at both of them) Barn covers up for Rachel's reputation by explaining that he has a rare book written by Collinwood's architect, and therefore knows much about the house.

The still shaking and quaking Carl continues down the hallway, his face screwed like he's just sucked a lemon (or seen a zombie. It's a similar look). He moves a nearby drapery (begging for trouble as anyone in a Gothic household will tell you) and SURPRISE! Quentin walks out. Carl screams. Barnabas, Judith and Rachel rush to his side but not too quickly so Quentin has time to strangle Carl (he's probably wanted to for ages). When he hears the thundering herd on the stairs, Quentin drops Carl to the floor and shuffles away. Once downstairs again, Carl insists Quentin choking him. Judith persists in saying Quentin is dead, his missing body notwithstanding. Barnabas, having failed to find Quentin, tells the family about all he learned about zombies in Martinique village and how to stop Quentin's wandering. Then, screwing up lines like I've rarely seen even on Dark Shadows, leaves Carl in charge of the ladies and heads out. Judith asks where he is going. To the Old House to get the necessaries from Magda to take care of this, says Barnabas. 

Later, Barnabas and Carl are in the drawing room and Carl asks how long it will be. Barn shushes him and says he hears something. A figure heads downstairs. It's Quentin! They look shocked. I don't know why. Which zombie did they THINK was gonna show up? Anyhow Quenny walks into the drawing room. A smoking pot stands at one end of the coffin. He opens the coffin. Carl, hands over his mouth, watches stunned, Barnabas smiles. Up in her room, Rachel complains that it's too quiet so naturally -- there's a knock at the door. An ecstatic Carl (bouncing like a rubber ball) tells them they were successful and dances - yes DANCES about the room - twirling!" Rachel and Judith, stepping carefully away from the whirlwind that is Carl, express relief it's almost over.

Quentin lies back in his coffin. Barnabas gazes down at him thinking - VERY LOUDLY - about how to thwart Angelique's actions. Naturally, he conveniently forgets that this is technically, exactly what he asked her to do. Clearly Barn has never seen Into The Woods or he'd know that "wishes come true, not free". Judith enters. I must ask you and Carl to perform the final task of pouring cement over the coffin. Barnabas doesn't think that necessary. Judith reminds him, you said it would prevent the body from rising again. And - as she hasn't pointed it out to anyone in the past few moments - she's head of the family so hop to it.

Carl and Barnabas shovel dirt while Judith supervises. Frankly, she's be more suited to the shoveling than Carl but, I digress. Lightning flashes and thunder roars as they bury Quentin, and it goes without saying that Carl is scared.

Rachel is in the drawing room - which is oddly awash in fog. I guess no one shut off the machine from the previous scene. Judith comes in and assures her Quentin won't rise again. Rachel thanks her for letting her know. It's near dawn, says Judith-you must get some rest. Rachel volunteers to shut off the lights and bids Judith goodnight. Having finished with the lights, she turns and sees Barnabas there. He came back just to make sure Rachel was OK. She's so glad because she plans to be far, far away by tomorrow. Sure, she's got a job but the benefits suck - the zombies wander around ALL night and the kids never knock. How can anyone be expected to operate under these circumstances? He begs her to stay. He doesn't say why (those kinds of guys never do. They just expect you to trust them. I trust NO ONE in that much eyeliner). And then he rushes out. Left alone, Rachel finishes turning off the lights (which somehow went back on during this scene). She shuts off the foyer light and goes upstairs. When the front doors open by themselves, she's sure it's Barnabas. She goes outside to look for him, calling to him, but instead, Quentin reaches out for her and starts to close his hands around her throat. She faints in his arms, and he carries her off, eyes as wide as can be and making me wonder if I know where my Visine is.

Wednesday Nov 13: my favorite day. It is bookended buy Dark Shadows and West Wing. What could be better? 

Quentin, the mutton-chopped zombie, carries Rachel's limp body through the woods while at the Old House; Magda encourages Sandor to eat his soup before Barnabas gets back. It reminds me of that Christmas special where Mrs. Claus is saying "Eat Santa, Eat. Who ever heard of a skinny Santa?" She continues to bitch and whine (through the fog that is blowing over from the next set) about how "Sandor's magic elixir doesn't seem so magic now" (euphemism? show of hands?) Barnabas comes in and the three of them bicker about who controls Sandor. Well, two of them do. Sandor seems ambivalent. Magda leaves to watch over Rachel as ordered by Barn.

Quentin finally gets the limp pile of rags knows as Rachel to his open grave. And it occurs to me that it was only a couple of hours ago that they ALLEGEDLY put down the cement. And nary a sign of cement (busted open or otherwise) to be seen. Just an oddly spic and span open casket in a rather shallower than standard grave. Anyhow, as he lays her down, she awakens and starts screaming - naturally. He covers her mouth to silence her but he has more trouble with her than he did with Carl yesterday. Then again, Carl is much more delicate than Miss Drummond.

Meanwhile, Barnabas and Sandor are still talking (now in the basement of the Old House which is - much like Collinwood yesterday - swimming in the dry ice fog from the previous scene). Barnabas is whining about how tormented he is by his situation. I show remarkable restraint by not pointing out that he brought this all on himself by sleeping with Angelique in the first place and that if he HAD to tom cat around, couldn't he have found someone OTHER than Josette's maid? But I digress. Barnabas is all about his torment when Magda once again joins them explaining that Rachel is gone! Barnabas explains that Quentin, now a zombie, has risen. Why he didn't explain this before sending Magda off to protect Rachel, I'm not sure. Magda gasps (probably wondering as I did why she's JUST finding out about the zombie angle now). They know where Rachel must be but it's almost dawn so Barnabas can't go. He sends Sandor. Magda objects STRONGLY and Barnabas ignores her as he gets into his coffin (note to crew - oil the coffin hinges) and tells them to deal until he wakes again. Magda glares at the closed coffin and storms out. It occurs to me that we never see anyone actually climb in or out of a coffin. Probably because it's impossible to do so gracefully but it's still odd.

Quentin, as tired of the shrill screeching as the rest of us, knocks Rachel out (earning my eternal gratitude) and places her in his open (sparkling clean) coffin. Sandor sneaks up, sword at the sort-of-ready, and touches Quentin's back to attract his attention. Quentin rises to go after this new threat. Sandor calls to Rachel to get out. She climbs from the coffin (Note to Quentin - next time hit harder). Quentin knocks Sandor unconscious and goes after Rachel.

Magda paces outside the Old House as a breathless Rachel comes running up and tells her what happened. Sandor returns; Magda calls him her big fat old hero. He tells her to behave because his arm is too sore to hit her. Magda clings, he grins. Or at least I think he's grinning, but the wig is askew and blocks my view. Rachel thanks him for his bravery. Magda chastises him that he could have been killed. At least that would have made you cry, says Sandor, asking for hot water for his hurt arm. Now I have to nurse you, she mock-complains--better the zombie should have finished you. Magda and Sandor are really a cute couple in a crotchety, grouchy way.

Later - As Magda lights candles in the drawing room, Sandor looks out the window and shows her that Quentin is outside. They try to bar him from entering but fail. Down in the basement, Barnabas rises and sits up. Quentin is sitting behind his coffin in a chair, so when Barnabas shuts his coffin, his first view is of the zombie. Barnabas doesn't seem OVERLY concerned and explains that Quentin can't hurt him, that Angelique is just showing off. He sends Sandor to the attic to fetch a packet of letters addressed to Jeremiah Collins (Barn's uncle from 1795). Barn had left them there when he first lived in the house and I guess there's no chance anyone would have thrown them out in the past 100 years so naturally, they are found right where he left them. He's going to use the letters- or rather one of them - to perform a ceremony to bring Quentin's spirit (now housed in Jamison) back to the body so it can be at peace. He'd written a description of the ceremony in the letter so they have a blue print. They must be quiet though because Rachel is sleeping upstairs.

Lots of chanting, mumbling - there may have been actual lines but no one seemed to feel strongly about them until Barn says "Spirit of Quentin Collins, you live in another body now, but your own body waits for you. Come to us here, now! Come to us! If you are in this room, speak to us, for you the spirit of the voice of Quentin Collins, do not let your body die as it must unless you return to it-speak to us!" Then there's this pause. It may have been intended to be dramatic but it went on a SMIDGE too long and they all started looking at each other and off camera so I suspect there was a special effect that just didn't happen. Suddenly it's David Selby to the rescue and Quentin speaks! "I cannot," says Quentin, lips not moving "She will not let me!" They all try and help him up, he fights them off, struggling to move, attempting to speak and flee all at once. And then he's gone.

Barnabas tells the gypsies that there's only one other chance to stop it now (I'm getting a little boy cry wolf feel from this whole thing. There's always ONE MORE CHANCE) Barn says if Quenny gets to that grave, he will be gone from us forever (and that is bad.? Why?). He rushes out. Quentin is on his belly (it's not a bad look for him by the way), inching toward his grave, intent on only one purpose-getting back there!

Jamison is poised to come down stairs into the foyer but there's a knock at the door and he flees. I'd like to mention at this point that being possessed has had a very beneficial effect on Jamison's dress sense. The robe he is wearing makes Edward and Carl's nightwear look positively ragged. What is it about the Collins family and nightwear? Barnabas enters and tells Judith that Quentin isn't buried any longer, his spirit is in Jamison's body, of and if it's OK, he needs the boy for a mysterious reason. Barnabas insists Judith accept it, but she doesn't want to let Jamison go with him. Barnabas warns her that if she doesn't do this, Quentin will wander the estate and Jamison will never be the same. She can't deal with it and continues to refuse. To give Judith credit, this is the same guy who said that cement was the only was to keep Quentin from walking, then said he didn't want to use the cement and then when they did use cement, it didn't work so I applaud her skepticism

In the meantime, Quentin is reaching, straining, crawling and even ROLLING along the ground, reaching to get back into his grave!

Judith finally caves, frightened of the scandal that might result if Quentin walked - say - into town. Quentin is still attempting to get back to his grave and collapses as Jamison and Barnabas appear. There's another vague ceremony, hand waving and fog but it doesn't work. Quentin remains zombie like and Jamison remains 12 going on 30.

Judith waits in the drawing room while wondering when everything went wacky. A knock at the door interrupts her reverie. A gray-haired, grinning man named Reverend Gregory Trask introduces himself. It appears Edward had considered sending Nora and Jamison to Trask's boarding school, Worthington. Jamison returns (without anyone else along which seems VERY odd - if he's still possessed, why would Barnabas let him wander back to the house alone?) and Judith can tell he's still not right. Trask wants to interview him but Judith attempts to put him off until the boy is more himself (and less his uncle) and sends the boy upstairs. Trask prevails though and gets his way. Judith advises Trask that Jamison has an overactive imagination--don't believe everything he says.

Barnabas returns with the zombie and explains that Quentin must remain near Jamison while his spirit is still in the boy. The ceremony apparently didn't fail completely and now the zombie has a bit of a pulse. Judith tells him about their unexpected visitor and the fact that Jamison is busy upstairs at the moment. "I need Jamison," insists Barnabas (Get in line, mutters Quentin's soul somewhere in the world where I write the scripts). Barnabas paces, Judith sits, Quentin sits and stares.

Judith hears Trask and Jamison coming downstairs and hastily closes the doors behind her as she comes into the foyer (which is at LAST getting the attention in deserves after days of being ignored). The boy says, "He's in this house! I know, I can feel his body waiting!" (Look, I like my uncle just fine but this is just - oh, I just feel so dirty! Someone call child services, please) Judith tells him not to talk like that (THANK you, Judith) and tells Trask that whatever Jamison told you, he did it deliberately, lying so he wouldn't have to go to your school." Jamison grins. Judith points this out as evidence that he knows he's doing wrong. Trask says it's not the boy's fault. Why? Simple. Because he's possessed!" DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS. He seems to know some of the story already so he asks Judith to tell him the rest so he can help. Barnabas comes out and observes this Trask ancestor with horror. (See, last time Barnabas saw a Trask was 100 years ago and looked JUST like this one. It was when Barnabas sealed him up to die behind a brick wall in this VERY HOUSE). He keeps this shock to himself however and agrees with Judith that perhaps he can help. Trask studies the situation for a few moments, answering Barnabas' questions about his methods and then says he is ready to begin. But Judith and Barnabas must leave. Neither is thrilled with the idea but they do it. Once in the foyer (where true discussions can be held) Barnabas asks Judith what she knows of Trask. She explains about the school.

Once again, a ceremony but Trask's elocution is much clearer than everyone else's or perhaps prayer is just louder. He makes Jamison kneel and upon being order to do so, Jamison hits his knees with a promptness (nay - even an eagerness) that again begs the question "Is this deliberate or am I reading too much into this?" It can't be deliberate. We're talking about a production crew that can't figure out how to control their dry ice machine. They can't actually be adding layers on PURPOSE. Anyhow, Jamison as "possessed" by his Uncle Quentin continues to creep me out and amuse the hell out of me at the same time. Quentin is still seated nearby not blinking. Trask calls upon God to save "this small, lost lamb". Jamison begins to rock, moan and pant. I think in another time and another place, Jamison might have benefited from some repressed memory therapy but that's a discussion for another time. We see Judith and Barnabas pacing in the foyer. Jamison suddenly screams. Judith calls to Barnabas, who immediately runs to opens the doors. Trask orders him not to come in. Jamison continues to scream. Barnabas flings open the doors.

Thursday Nov 14: After Trask finishes his ceremony, Quentin and Jamison return to normal. The real miracle here however is that Trask was able to concentrate on completing the ceremony with all that carrying on from the foyer. Judith and Barnabas were SO loud. And you know the walls at Collinwood are paper thin - literally. Jamison is once again himself. Judith kneels next to him, delighted. Quentin is also himself. Judith, still kneeling, isn't as delighted since his first words are "A family conference? About time, I should say. Did you find "her" and lock her up?" It's clear Quentin doesn't recall anything after being stabbed and thinks it just happened. News to Jamison - no one had told HIM about any stabbing. He demands to know who did it, suggesting Judith as the culprit (delightful tot) but Quentin says she wouldn't have the guts - she would only wish it done. She tells Jamison not to listen to his uncle. Quentin wants an explanation, but Trask insists that take place in another room. Barnabas and Quentin leave the room. 

Trask and Judith start speaking of Jamison as if he's not there - which is just BEGGING for trouble as anyone who deals with kids should know. Trask clearly NOT the expert on children he ought to be running a school and all. Jamison sasses them and Trask sends him out in the hall. I can't believe Judith - Miss I'm In Charge at Collinwood - sits still while Trask takes charge like this but Judith practically simpers (for her anyhow) her thanks at Trask and she agrees to let Jamison go with Trask back to the school that very night. You'll be surprised, even shocked to hear that Jamison has been eavesdropping and at this point bursts in to tell them it ain't gonna happen. Trask asks to speak to Jamison alone. "At my school, everything is discussed." He smiles a slimy, Eddie Haskell feeling smile. Jamison, calmer now, agrees. They go upstairs. Trask tells him they are going to have a nice chat. 

Meanwhile, Barnabas has been filling Quentin in on what's been happening while he was - uh, out. Neither one is inclined to credit Trask with solving the problem but they aren't feeling very chummy either so neither is very forthcoming. Barnabas hints that "your interest in 'odd things might have done this. Mystical things," he clarifies before my sniggering can become a full-fledged guffaw. Quentin laughs heartily and applauds Barnabas' delicacy but he's not amused when Barnabas asks about Jenny and if Quentin drove her mad. Quentin, rather than answering, goes on the defensive. I'm feeling kinda bad for Quentin - kinda. I mean, I'm sure he did a lot of bad things. And I'm sure he's wasn't very discreet about cheating on Jenny and he's gonna end up getting blamed (at least for a while) for her present condition and that isn't his fault.

Meanwhile, Jamison (who's comb over is reaching EPIC heights of hilarity) is insistent that he doesn't want to go to Worhtington but refuses to discuss specifics. Trasks plays the "you'll disappoint your father" card and Jamison shocks me by having the spine not to fall for it. Then I am disappointed in Jamison because he does fall for the "don't you want to save your soul" card. Then my disappointment is mediated a bit because Jamison says he doesn't trust Trask so he won't pray with him - he prefers to pray on his own. Then my disappointment (which is getting QUITE a work out) becomes revulsion and oogieness as Trask pushes Jamison to his knees and forces him to assume a praying posture. This, coupled with the personal space issue so RAMPANT on the estate makes for a creepy visual that I am sure was not as creepy in more innocent times. 

Judith wanders into the drawing room where she is grabbed by the throat by Quentin. He demands to know where Jenny is and why and what was done with her. He's not accepting "the good of the family" excuse or "for her own good," reason either. "None of you ever accepted her here, you made that clear enough", he says. Wow. He seems very angry on Jenny's behalf. How - oddly unQuentin. He continues "There must be another reason, or were you clever enough to keep her here just to kill me when I came back, because that's what she's going to try to do, again!" Ah, that's the Quentin we know and love. It's all about you, Quen. Judith doesn't tell him where Jenny is and he says he'll find her on his own.

No longer kneeling but apparently resigned, Jamison is still reluctant. Trask warns him stubbornness can be a sin. "Come here", he orders. "I give each of my boys one chance - what will I tell your aunt?" Jamison flinches as Trask shouts (and really really loud - I swear the wall moved), "WE JUST WENT OVER IT, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HER?" "That I want to leave for your school *sob* tonight *sniff* that I think it's best!" cries Jamison, clearly by rote. Trask grins, holding the door open for Jamison. I hate Trask. I'm clearly supposed to but I'd just like to be on record. Judith in the drawing room when Trask comes to say that Jamison must be removed from the house immediately, or he's in danger of losing his mind. Judith is stunned. This is what stuns her? After the night she has had?

Jamison meanwhile has turned to Uncle Quentin and Quentin promises to help. Trask opens the double doors and calls to Jamison to come in. Jamison and Quentin exchange looks as the boy walks fearfully into the drawing room. Quentin gives the boy a wink that gives Jamison the strength to straighten up and walk more surely into the other room. Ah Quentin, that's nice of you. Trask closes the doors and Quentin stands there, grinning. Sure, I know Quentin isn't the nicest man in the world and sure - he's used his nephew as a pawn in performing ceremonies in the black arts - but he seems genuinely concerned about the boy's obvious fright. OK, he's probably just helping the kid to spite Judith but I don't care. Quentin is doing the right thing even if it for the wrong reason. 

Trask gives Jamison his cue and  Jamison, showing spine and gumption inspired by Quentin's facial tick, tells Judith that Trask threatened him, tried to make him lie. Judith is astounded. I can't imagine how this woman can be astounded by anything anymore. I mean, in the past few hours, look at what's happened. "One thing I cannot bear is a boy's dislike", says Trask with cunning and slimy dignity and says they must choose another school for Jamison but Judith says no, he'll go to Worthington Hall. He's becoming more and more like his Uncle Quentin (he is NOT! Jamison told nothing but the truth just now and Quentin almost never does that). Trask turns, smiling, triumphant. She tells him to return in an hour--Jamison will be ready to leave. 

An hour later, Barnabas and Judith are in the Foyer Of Importance when there's a knock at the door. Judith says she's going to get the boy. Dirk is helping him pack she mentions and I'm glad to hear this. Not only does it show that Dirk still has a job but it means that Jamison's gloves will be treated with the delicacy they deserve. As she goes up the stairs, Judith tells Barnabas to get the door and to treat Trask respectfully. Making pointed small talk, Barnabas says that some papers he found of the Collins family that lived here 100 years ago had an ink drawing of a face remarkably like Trask's, an authority on witches was brought in by the family and that his name was Trask, too. Trask says that was his great, great grandfather who disappeared mysteriously shortly after leaving Collinsport. Meaningful and dramatic music plays "Really! And here we are again," says Barnabas. Trask looks confused. As well he might. Judith comes to the landing and tells the men Jamison ran away. Damn! I should be surprised. I wonder if Jamison ALSO hit Dirk on the head with a tray. Why did anyone think Dirk could keep track of anyone? Jenny was insane and locked up and he lost her.

A boy is missing so what is Trask doing at this hour of crisis? Praying. Barnabas, returning from searching outside like any sensible person (or creature of the night) overhears and curtly informs him, "If I had found him, I wouldn't have delivered Jamison to you!" They stare at each other challengingly. And of course, quite closely. Quentin interrupts to tell Trask that his rooms are ready. "Very kind", says Trask. Quentin grins conspiratorially at Barnabas (the enemy of mine enemy and all that, don't ya know). Trask says he's daughter is arriving soon and that she should be directly brought to him. He describes her as "shy, ill at ease socially". Which of course means that when she shows up she'll practically have SLUT tattooed on her forehead. You know how those preacher's daughters are. Wild! "Yes, sir, anything you say, sir," says Quentin sarcastically. Trask gives him a nasty look and departs. In Trask's hearing, Quentin remarks to Barn that "If Worthington Hall is as joyous as its master, Jamison and Nora are in for a delightful winter." I love Quentin. 

As Quentin starts up a game of solitaire, Barnabas comments how calm Quentin is behaving over Jamison's disappearance. "Just my manner. Collins' don't panic as a rule," quips Quentin. Barnabas isn't surprised really since he points out that Quentin probably ahs the boy himself. "Are you expecting a confession?" asks Quentin "I don't trust you enough to give you one, and if you keep on, I shall be forced to search the woods, and in my delicate condition, that wouldn't be wise." Barnabas agrees, and is comforted to know Jamison isn't lost and will show up at the appropriate time. He can't believe Edward would allow his boy to go to that man and states his intention to learn everything I can about the school. "No need, says Quentin. "Bread and gruel and a switching for every unlearned lesson." Barnabas actually gives a laugh. "Again we agree", says Barnabas. "We must not make a habit of that", jokes Quentin. Barnabas leaves to go upstairs. They're a buddy movie waiting to happen. And excuse me, Barnabas but when are you gonna have time to research this man and his school. You're supposed to be getting back to 1967 eventually and it's not like there aren't a million other things on your plate - stopping the ghost of Quentin present, Angelique, all sorts of things.

Rachel enters the drawing room. She screams when she sees Quentin and backs away. He deliberately plays the part of the zombie to scare her, then laughs. Relieved, she realizes he's OK. Quentin bursts into laughter "Can you blame me for wanting to carry you away again?" he asks. Damn, I know he's no good but I am amused and delighted by him. They talk about how such odd things happen at Collinwood and Rachel reveals her experiences in the tower room. A light dawns for Quentin and he rushes out saying she may have found the one he has been hunting for. She's startled by his abrupt departure. There's a knock at the door. Rachel opens it upon a blonde, prim looking young woman, who says, distastefully, "Rachel Drummond." The governess' lips tremble. Charity Trask has arrived. She's snooty, uptight and rude. And you can tell she's evil because her hate is AWFUL. Rachel is very upset by her and terrified to learn that Reverend Trask is in the house. Barnabas comes downstairs to show Miss Trask to her father and notices that Rachel is on the verge of tears. He looks at her meaningfully and leads Charity upstairs) Alone again, Rachel wonders what to do. Quentin comes up behind her and tells her all he found in the tower room was a doll with a missing eye so whoever was there has been moved. Rachel is just glad that someone agrees with her that there WAS someone in the room. 

Meanwhile, the repugnant Trask family reunion is happening. Charity reports to Daddy that the lost lamb has been found, the lamb so in need of saving. She's seen Rachel, not just in Collinsport but here as the governess! Trask is stunned. They hit their knees (maybe Jamison does belong with them?) and pray their thanks for having found another lost lamb (I'm beginning to loathe that phrase by the way)

Rachel tells Barnabas that she used to live and work at Worthington Hall and was intimidated and blackmailed into staying there. She describes the school and her experiences there. Quentin got it right. Just what you'd expect from boarding schools in Gothic novels. "When I was there, I had a special friend, Tim. (I bet). We'd meet and he'd help me with my schoolwork but they found out, and locked Tim in a cupboard for 30 days. I was beaten and starved until I promised never to see him alone again." She worked there to pay off the tuition owed (so did Tim) when her aunt died and though she and Tim did manage to escape, she felt bad about it. As this point, Trask comes in and Barnabas glares at him and leaves. Probably wondering if there are enough bricks in the basement to build another Trask wall. And I'm wondering what were all these references that Edward claimed to have checked when Barnabas asked about Rachel two weeks ago?

Alone with Rachel, Trask accuses Rachel of stealing before she ran away, that she signed a contract and she owes him 6 more months of her life (his words, not mine). He also says Tim is back at the school. She doesn't believe it but he insists it is true and that she will be forced to return to Worthington Hall or face exposure to the Collins family - which results in the same thing. He leaves her distraught. Charity is dressed for bed. Her father knocks at her door and assures her, you need not worry-the lamb will return to us. Must all the dialogue from the Trasks be saturated in innuendo? The Collins' are looking functional compared to these wackos.

Barnabas tells Rachel he wants to help her but she refused tearfully and runs away. He grabs his cape and puts it on, his face angry. As he leaves the house, he looks up at some lighted windows upstairs. An idea comes to him. Charity sleeps. We hear squeaking and see a bat outside her window. Charity stirs. Barnabas appears in her room, staring down at the Reverend's daughter. She wakes up with a gasp, but Barnabas, fangs bared, bites into her throat. FINALLY! I thought we were NEVER gonna see a vamp bite. I mean, a man's gotta eat right?

Friday Nov 15: VOICE OVER: Collinwood in the year 1897. Barnabas Collins has gone back in time, hoping to unravel the mysteries of the past in order to save the life of a young boy in the present. But his progress has been impeded by several obstacles including the appearance of old enemies who would like to destroy him. But his severest handicap is one he has long been familiar with, for back in this time; Barnabas Collins must suffer the terrible curse that was placed on him so long ago. Once again he is a creature of the night-one of the living dead. 

Seems to me that his progress is being impeded by his willingness - nay eagerness - to chase after any brunette with even a passing resemblance to Josette. And the fact that he has the attention span of a gnat. But never mind. By biting Miss Prim and Proper (wham, bam, thank you ma'am and don't forget to floss), Barnabas has gained control of her. "You are under my influence and cannot resist me." he informs her. She seems more than happy about it. As he leaves, she looks like she's a long rough but - um, satisfying night. Tramp!

Hey! It's daylight. I mean, it's really clearly daylight. The only way you can usually tell is that Barnabas is said to be away. Nora, who we see even less than daylight, is in the drawing room waiting for her cue. I'm sure the script says, "staring into the fire as if mesmerized" but the only vibe I'm getting is "waiting for a cue". Anyhow, the cue duly comes - the sound of her father, Edward returning home. Nora is delighted to be in the foyer where the big actors get to be and she's also happy to see Dad - at least until she hears that it was Daddy's idea to send her and Jamison away to school and not Aunt Judith's as she thought. Nora starts to cry says he doesn't want them around. Edward, upset, assures her that after dinner, they will sit down and I'll tell you about the school. No good, she says, because Jamison ran away last night because Trask was cruel and they'd both rather die than go to the school. Edward is horrified to hear that Jamison is gone. OK, maybe he was in route and Judith couldn't reach him. Still, you'd think someone would meet him at the train and fill him in. He says thought the kids would like the idea of the school. She pleads more and he says that they can talk about once they've found Jamison. Edward goes into the drawing room, pours himself a drink, and downs it in a single a gulp. I see this drinking thing is a family trait. No wonder Grandma Edith was so worried about the sherry supply. 

Edward later finds Quentin in the study, looking through his papers, and is shocked. You know, if Edward and Judith didn't drink so damn much, they might find life's little surprises a little easier to handle. The two squabble about Jamison but Quentin isn't really interested in that. He wants to know about Jenny! Edward is shocked to learn Quentin knows about her. Quentin fills in the blanks with little regard for Edward's delicate sensibilities. Edward comments on his miraculous recovery. " At one point I was actually declared dead", Quentin informs him. (Not to mention buried). Edward is - you guessed it - shocked. (So Edward knew nothing about Quentin being stabbed, or dying, or being in a coffin - which I guess they just had laying around the house - or Jamison running away. What WAS the message Judith sent him? Bring home extra carton of milk?) Edward refuses to discuss Jenny saying that after Quentin deserted her, he assumed full responsibility for her and will continue to do so. Quentin goes BALLISTIC! "The woman is stark, raving mad", he shouts. Edward spits back that it's Quentin's fault and he has only himself to blame ("No fair. No FAIR!" I cry in defense my mutton-chopped darling but he needs no help from me). "Your pomposity is disgusting." Quentin declares. Then he kinda laughs, " We've only discussed my wife, we haven't gotten around to yours." Edward bristles and says he doesn't care about Laura. Quentin insists that he must be curious as to "what became of her when she followed me out of this house and halfway around the world." (Oooh, Quentin, you scamp) Nora interrupts, asking if she can sit at Daddy's desk and draw for a while. Edward is OK with that and leaves. Nora asks Quentin if her mother is ever coming back. "What made you ask?" Quentin asks, surprised (please note that he is not shocked. Made of much sterner stuff is my Quentin). "I don't know", says Nora, "I've just been thinking about her all day long-is she ever coming home?" Her tone is plaintive which I tend to find annoying but she's more puzzled than sad. Quentin seems oddly affected by it. He pats her on the shoulder and says he doesn't know, then excuses himself and leaves the room.

He goes to find Edward and try to strike a deal - Jamison's return for Jenny's whereabouts. Edward is having none of it. He threatens to have Quentin charged with kidnapping. Quentin caves (faster than I thought he would - he must be up to something). Edward looks perturbed. 

Nora has drawn some Egyptian-looking symbols on the paper. Barnabas knocks, looking for Edward. She shows him her drawings and asks if he likes it. Yes, he says, but the symbols under the pyramid appear to be Egyptian hieroglyphics. He assumes she copied them from a book. "No, they came to me in my head", she says. She then points out that they mean her mother is coming home. Edward enters on the tail end of this conversation, dismisses Nora, and then turns on Barnabas to reprimand him for bringing up Laura. Barnabas stops him; saying that it was Nora who brought up the subject of her mother in relation to her curious drawing which he says he found disturbing, to say the least. He shows her picture to Edward. He pronounces the picture more of Quentin's nonsense and that it would do the kids good to be away from Quentin. Barnabas wants to discuss the school." I just had a long talk with Jamison, who is back and in his room", says Edward. "I promised I would wait a day or so before considering the matter again."

Nora is in the foyer when she seems drawn into the drawing room, where she closes the doors behind her.  She stares into the fireplace. She hears voices coming from it, and leans in closer. It's a very Carol Ann/Poltergeist moment. Edward hears Nora crying, "No, no, please!" She runs into his arms saying the fire was trying to get her. "He drags her back into the drawing room and makes her look into the fire to show her that it's all nonsense. Nora screams about seeing her mother's face in the flames!" Edward stares, shaken. We see a skeleton head with blonde curls appearing in the fireplace. Now THAT I can see being shocked about. 

Beth comes in. It's good to see Beth again after so many days. I like Beth. She takes no nonsense and is devoted to poor mad Jenny despite being obviously in love with Jenny's ne-er do well husband. Beth tells Edward that she's "going to town". She says it in SUCH a significant way that you know it means MUCH more than that and they waggle eyebrows at each other to really drive the point him. He hands her an envelope and says "you can find me in the study when you return. Bring Nora upstairs and put her to bed first though." Beth takes the little girl's hand but Quentin stops her on the stairs and says he MUST speak with her - Beth I mean. Beth doesn't seem to want to but Nora assures Beth she can take herself up to bed, and Quentin quickly agrees and makes Nora promise to go right to bed. She runs upstairs, after flashing Uncle Quentin a smile (I think he winked at her. The kids are all about Uncle Quentin). Quentin leads Beth into the drawing room (yes, if you're looking for privacy, the foyer is NOT your best bet). He notes her lack of hyseria at "the sight of someone you believed dead the last time you saw me" (Well, she's not Judith or Edward for one thing.) Beth says that Judith explained what happened. Quentin berates Beth for not telling him about Jenny and she asks what he would have done if she had told him. THAT actually stops him. He thinks and then admits that he doesn't know. Beth says she does - he would have tried to get rid of her and that's why they didn't tell him. Quentin doesn't see that getting rid of Jenny is a bad idea - considering the stabbing and all. He grabs Beth by both arms and demands that she reveal Jenny's location.

Nora hears noise and suddenly flames appear in the hallway in front of her. She screams and runs. Beth races upstairs and Edward meets her there. Nora tells them that the corridor outside her room is burning! Edward, Beth and Nora find no fire anywhere. Nora insists there was a fire but Edward dismisses it as imagination and says she needs a good night's rest. Beth volunteers to take Nora to her room, but Edward says he'll do it and that Beth should go ahead to the village. Beth leaves chastised, and Edward escorts Nora into her room.

Quentin paces the drawing room, angry, frustrated. He spots Beth's purse on a table and an envelope sticking from it. He reads to whom it is addressed, smiles and tears it open to reveal a lot of cash. Beth enters, telling Quentin that she can't talk to him any more right now and that she's already in enough trouble as it is. She picks up her purse. Quentin stands aside, whistling a happy tune. She roots though her purse anxiously. Quentin takes the envelope from his pocket and waves it back and forth until she grabs it. . He wonders aloud about the last time he saw her off to the village with a pile of cash but Beth refuses to discuss it. She begs him not to go looking for Jenny while she is gone and promises Jenny won't try to harm him again. She desperately tries to get him to see that Jenny wasn't responsible for her actions. Now, taking into consideration how Beth feels about Quentin I'd say Beth that this makes her the most stand up person in the WHOLE place. Quentin leans in closely (because of course, he's a Collins after all) tells her, "I will stop looking for Jenny on one condition." Beth asks what that might be. I can't believe she doesn't get it from his leering expression but perhaps she's hoping for a miracle and he's gonna ask to borrow a book. He kisses her - again with more force than finesse, and this time, she joins in. "I want you, Beth," he says (the things that's MOST interesting is that he says 'I want you, Beth' to the camera and not to Beth. In the mean time, I wonder if it can ever be dark enough to forget about the muttonchops). 

Nora is in bed, sleepy now. She thanks Edward for sitting with her. He kisses her forehead and bids her good night. Nora starts dreaming (enter wavy lines effect). She dreams that a hooded person is at the front door and that Edward orders them away. Then she dreams that she is walking in the woods, searching for her mother. She finds a hooded cape and Edward's voice is heard chortling, "Gone forever! Never coming back!" just laughing and laughing, then tossing the pieces of her picture up. Nora awakens from the dream, sitting up with a scream. Beth races into Nora's room (wow, that was quick - I mean, wasn't she frolicking off to town, or bedding Quentin or something? Either way - Wow, that was quick.) She asks the girl what's wrong. Nora tells her about the dream. Beth urges her not to worry about and tells her to try and get some sleep. 

Quentin enters the drawing room to find Edward looking at the mail. Quentin says that he wants to let him know he won't harm Jenny, and will stop looking for her but he expects Edward to do his best to keep her under control. Edward wonders what changed Quentin's mind? (Gee, Beth. I can see the appeal but even Cocker Spaniels aren't that dumb) Quentin says it would be a mistake to do anything rash. He can tell Edward doesn't believe him and suggests a drink. 

Nora sleeps. We hear the sound of rushing wind, and a banging sound awakens Nora. She leaves her room. 

Edward and Quentin are so intent on each other that they don't hear Nora heading downstairs and out the door. (This happens a lot. It must be some magical property of the foyer). Edward remarks that if he's sincere, he's just made one of his rare, intelligent decisions. He lifts his glass in a toast to Quentin. "Wonder of wonders", snarks my side burned swain, "my brother has paid me a compliment, half-hearted, but a compliment nevertheless." They clink their glasses and survey each other with the usual mistrust.

Nora finds the cape from her dream. As she looks at it, she feels a gloved hand with what looks like a snake bracelet circling the wrist touch her shoulder. Nora looks up. . .

Back to top

Have a suggestion, comment, praise (in particular)? Drop me a note. Reproduction or use of any of this site for profit sternly frowned upon.
(c) Modern Parlance